THE DEAFENING SOUND:
It was after midnight and I was home alone. Earlier in the evening, my stomach was feeling very queasy and I tried to settle it by drinking some tea with crackers. Usually, that would do the trick, but for some reason this time, I could not shake the feeling. So instead, I curled up in bed to watch my favorite actress Bette Davis in action, figuring it would go away on its own.
Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I had the most bizarre experience. I remember hearing a droning sound, like the one made by a portable fan, only the sound was coming from inside my head! The room suddenly began to spin, slowly at first, then faster and faster. My heart began to beat so fast it was almost audible. My limbs went weak and my breathing became very shallow. My guess was - a heart attack. With no experience to draw from, I felt this was the end - death was about to follow.
The telephone was only a few inches away but I could not reach for it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was convinced if I made any movement at all, death would be quicker. So in a last minute effort, I began screaming for help, careful not to move my head left nor right - I was seated in bed staring straight ahead. I still maintained that position even when help arrived, bursting through the patio screen door.
A neighbor heard my cries for help and alerted the security in the complex who came rushing in with a doctor in tow. I was still rooted to the spot while the doctor made her assessment. She ruled I was having a panic attack, not a heart attack and that I was going to be alright. She gave me some Valium which I took and only when things began to calm down a bit, I felt confident enough to disengage from my cramped position.
I was pretty shaken up. I wondered, why did this happen to me? Could it happen again? I kept replaying the whole thing in my mind. You see, I had no knowledge then of panic attacks. I had never even heard of it, let alone experienced it. The scare was so bad, I found myself doing things I would not normally do.
THE LEAD UP TO PANIC DISORDER:
As soon as the sun began to set, I became restless. I feared the nights. If no-one was home, I would leave my front door wide open, take a chair and sit outside until company came. One night, I even knocked on a neighbor's door - someone I did not know and asked if I could stay with them and maybe sleep on their sofa until someone came home - I was that desperate. I could be alone all through the day and be fine but as soon as the sun went down, it was pandemonium.
I refused to eat any more than a spoonful of food for fear my stomach would become upset again and start another rendition of panic attacks - I lost 23lbs in two weeks! I would drink nothing - especially tea. My movements were slow and deliberate. I felt if I moved too fast, I could initiate another attack. It was almost crazy the things I would do and I could not stop from doing them, no matter how much I tried to convince myself!
Still the panic attacks would come and my every thought would be a constant fear of the next one. I was later diagnosed by a Psychiatrist as having Panic Disorder. I was a textbook case. I avoided any and everything that reminded me of that horrible night and that I thought would bring on another attack - this would in turn give me such anxiety, it brought on more attacks - It was like living in a "catch 22" situation.
I was put on a heavy dose of Xanax to control the panic attacks. It did, though the constant dread still remained in the pit of my stomach, like an unfilled hole. I was able to eat and drink again, but still had a hard time being alone at nights. As a result, Xanax became my crutch. It was my lifeline defense and I would not be caught dead without it. Then a new fear developed - what if I ran out of tablets? Yes, I had become addicted to Xanax and getting off proved harder to deal with than the reason I got on. For ten long years, I lived like this locked in my own world - I tried technique after technique I read about but the problem would still exist. My personality changed completely and I felt old and useless. I declined invitations to go out; I lost confidence in myself and lacked self esteem. I truly hated myself...and my life, as it had become.
NUTRITION TO THE RESCUE:
It was the year 2009. I had been browsing the internet looking for ways to make an extra income from home and a particular program piqued my interest. It was a company promoting a liquid nutritional supplement containing Acai. At that time, Acai was discovered as a super fruit from the Amazon Basin and boasted tremendous nutritional value. I never really believed in vitamins, nor took any, but figured if other people did, I could market the juice to them, plus it didn't hurt that Acai was becoming a sought-after commodity. I signed up for the program and began marketing their juice.
To truthfully answer my prospective customers' questions about the product and its benefits, I felt compelled to drink the stuff and see what these super vitamins would do for me. I was at best skeptical, but needed a reason to justify my means of income.
However, a few months down the road, I made a startling discovery. My stomach, for the first time in 10 years, felt normal - the hole was filled. Still not really attributing anything to the drink, I noticed I could extend the time longer and longer before having to take my medication and not suffer much withdrawal symptoms. This was baffling, yet very curious to me. So I did some in depth research on the ingredients in the supplement.
The Acai was said to have a high level of Essential Fatty Acids. I read these are very crucial for brain health and in controlling anxiety and depression. Calcium and Vitamin D3 also play significant roles and were among the ingredients. Could this really be causing the changes in my body? Could I have found the answer to ridding myself of the affliction AND the addiction? I was more energetic, interacting more and for snatches at a time I did not even give a thought to panic attacks. I could be alone at nights and not worry about having another attack. I felt alive again and it was a really great feeling.
LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE:
It took only 3 months to finally escape from my ten-year sentence. With continued use of the nutritional beverage I was able to wean from Xanax. 2mg twice a day became 1mg twice a day. If I felt any inkling of withdrawal, I would sip a little more of the juice and the feeling would go away. I was able to break a 1mg tablet in half and reduce my intake to 0.5mg twice a day. The reduction continued until I was merely pinching a piece of a tablet for the entire day. The first day I went without medication, I felt completely calm and in control. I knew without a doubt my success was mostly due to the valuable nutrition my body was now receiving and in part a strong determination to rid myself of this debilitating disease.
I have not had another panic attack since then. Sadly, the company discontinued their program and their incredible juice but I will always be grateful for the amazing benefits I reaped. Drinking natural supplements has become a very important way of life for me and I continue to share the knowledge and benefits with family and friends.
Now, I am elated to have found another awesome program, marketing the healthiest nutritional beverage in the world and I am absolutely loving it!
What's in your glass?
"Good Nutrition is our Mission"
No comments:
Post a Comment